


The Gleewrite

by thegleewrite (Know_Your_Paradoxes)



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awesome Burt Hummel, Bisexual Finn Hudson, Canon Rewrite, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Gen, Glee Rewrite, Gleewrite, Good Parent Burt Hummel, Good Sibling Finn Hudson, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Kurt Hummel & Mercedes Jones Friendship, Lesbian Quinn Fabray, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, PEOPLE FACE REPERCUSSIONS YOU GUYS, Past Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Polyamory, Queer Themes, Rachel Berry Bashing, Santana Lopez Being a Jerk, Screenplay/Script Format, Sexual Repression, Smart Brittany S. Pierce, Trans Character, Transitioning, Unfortunately Glee is Really Problematic, Will Schuester Bashing, actions have consequences, but i'm dedicated to making sure that there are consequences for that attitude!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26281135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Know_Your_Paradoxes/pseuds/thegleewrite
Summary: Rewriting the entirety of Glee because the characters (mostly) deserve better.I do not own the plot to Glee, nor do I own the characters. I merely own my own interpretations and rewrites of events. Transcripts referenced were taken from various sources.
Relationships: Artie Abrams/Becky Jackson, Artie Abrams/Tina Cohen-Chang, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Carole Hudson-Hummel/Burt Hummel, Emma Pillsbury/Will Schuester, Finn Hudson/Jesse St. James, Finn Hudson/Kurt Hummel, Kurt Hummel/David Karofsky, Mike Chang/Tina Cohen-Chang, Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry/Cassandra July, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Rory Flanagan/Sugar Motta, Ryder Lynn/Jake Puckerman/Marley Rose, Sam Evans/Mercedes Jones, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, Tina Cohen-Chang/Lauren Zizes, Tina Cohen-Chang/Sam Evans, Unique Adams/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Pilot

[OPEN, EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. The Cheerios are practicing routines. Sue Sylvester watches them with a stopwatch in hand, and Brittany Pierce falls off the top of their formation, rolling her ankle.]

 **SUE:** You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded. _That's_ hard.

[Santana Lopez immediately rushes to Brittany's side, and the two have a quiet back and forth where Santana makes sure that Brittany isn't injured. Sue looks at the two with suspicion, and Santana notices, distancing herself from Brittany. Brittany looks dejected.]

 **SUE:** Alright, airhead, if your ankle's not broken you can still practice, now get back on top of the pyramid where you belong, Pierce!

[Brittany nods, her ankle clearly hurting as she gets to her feet. Santana looks at her with a worried expression, but once Brittany turns to look back at her, she snaps her head back to focus on Sue.]

* * *

[CUT TO EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. Will Schuester drives in, making loud noise as he tries to park. He leaves his car and walks towards a dumpster, where a group of football players, including Noah Puckerman and Finn Hudson, are surrounding Kurt Hummel.]

 **WILL:** Making some new friends, huh, Kurt?

 **PUCK:** Sure is, Mr. Schue.

 **WILL:** Whatever, just take it easy on the kid, okay?

 **PUCK:** Tch, whatever.

 **WILL:** Finn, you still owe me your report. Y'know, _"que hace el verano pasado?"_ It was due last week.

 **FINN:** ...What does that mean again?

 **WILL:** What you did over the summer.

 **FINN:** Oh, right! I'm almost halfway done with almost all of it, Mr. Schue!

[Will looks at Kurt, who gives him a look that screams "HELP ME." Will stands there for a second, before Finn puts a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Thinking that Finn will stand up for Kurt, Will nods to Finn before taking his leave.]

 **PUCK:** Alright, take his legs, Karofsky.

[Puck and Dave Karofsky grab Kurt and hoist him into the air.]

 **KURT:** (panicked) Stop, please!

 **FINN:** Wait.

[Puck and Karofsky set Kurt down, and Kurt takes a second to adjust himself.]

 **KURT:** If you're gonna hurl me into a dumpster, at least keep my jacket clean. I spent all summer working to get the money to buy it from Marc Jacobs' new collection.

[Kurt takes off his jacket, and tries to hand it to Puck first, then Karofsky, and finally Finn, who takes the jacket and holds it gingerly.]

 **PUCK:** Okay, now can we get on with this?

[Puck doesn't wait for a response, nodding to Karofsky to grab Kurt again, this time, hoisting him slightly higher before tossing him into the dumpster. Puck and Karofsky high-five as Kurt sputters and rustles in the dumpster, and the football players start to walk away, Finn still holding on to Kurt's jacket. Finn looks troubled.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. Will is continuing his walk to his classroom, but along the way, he stops and looks at the trophy case in the hallway, admiring a first place trophy that William McKinley High School won at the 1993 Show Choir Championships. Next, he looks at a plaque hanging to its left, with a picture of a woman named Lilian Adler (1937 - 1997) and the quote "By its very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy."]

 **WILL:** (sighs) Maybe this year we'll add to it...

[Will takes another second to admire the small trophy case before walking to his classroom, where Finn is in class, visibly trying not to fall asleep.]

 **WILL:** Buenos días, clase.

 **STUDENTS:** (groggily, talking over one another) Buenos días, Señor Schuester.

 **WILL:** (to himself) Aye, que lastima.

* * *

[Cut to: INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY. Will and Ken Tanaka are standing around a coffee maker. The coffee pot is gone.]

 **WILL:** Where'd the coffee pot go?

 **KEN:** Figgins got rid of it. Said it was an "unnecessary expense." My friend who works at Carver says that they just got a new coffee maker there. We should strike.

[Sue enters with multiple coffee cups in hand.]

 **SUE:** Hello, boys. Need a pick-me-up?

 **KEN:** You're a godsend. Lattes?

 **SUE:** Yeah, I'm a bit of a coffee snob. Be careful though, I got them all to my specific liking. The milk is scalding.

[Emma Pillsbury enters.]

 **KEN:** Hi, Emma!

 **EMMA:** Hi, Ken... (becomes meek) Will.

 **WILL:** (cordially) Hey.

 **EMMA:** (pointing to Sue's lattes) What's with those?

 **SUE:** Oh, Emma, I just felt so awful that Figgins cut the coffee budget to pay for a nutritionist for the Cheerios.

 **EMMA:** Oh, yeah. Didn't you guys go $600 over budget?

 **SUE:** Listen, my performers didn't get a spotlight on Fox Sports Net last year because they were eating McDonald's and hating themselves.

 **EMMA:** Since when were cheerleaders ever considered "performers?"

 **SUE:** Ah, Pillsbury. Your resentment is delicious. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have a phoner interview in a couple minutes. It's with a major media outlet. I think I might break out my new iPhone for it. Enjoy.

 **WILL:** (sarcastically) Gee, thanks, Sue.

[Sue exits. Emma sits down in between Will and Ken, and Ken scoots a bit closer to her. She's noticeably nervous about the proximity.]

 **KEN:** Hey, so I missed you at the singles mixer last weekend, Emma.

 **EMMA:** (laughing nervously) Oh, right, yeah, yeah. Um, a big pipe exploded in my building. Wild! Plus, mixers just aren't my thing. It feels like everybody's there just assessing you like a piece of meat or a prize to be won, y'know? It's just, ugh. I did give my number to one of the firemen, though! (pause) He still hasn't called.

 **WILL:** Well, hey. There's someone out there for everyone. Don't even sweat it.

[Emma blushes at this. Ken seems to acknowledge this, but Will doesn't notice.]

 **EMMA:** (clearing her throat) Oh, did you hear? Sandy Ryerson got fired earlier.

 **WILL:** (visibly perking up) Really? Who's gonna take over Glee club?

[Emma shrugs.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - Day. Will is seated in front of Principal Figgins.]

 **WILL:** I'd like to take over the Glee club.

 **FIGGINS:** Would you like to captain the Titanic, too?

 **WILL:** I-I think I can make it great, like it was in 1993. These kids, they won't find that sense of belonging anywhere else. They need to feel seen and heard. I'm almost certain that they all have Tumblr accounts. One of the kids even sent me theirs. It was... interesting.

 **FIGGINS:** $60 a month. That's the money I need to keep this club running.

 **WILL:** And you... expect _me_ to pay for it? With my _teacher's salary?_

 **FIGGINS:** Well, _I'm_ not paying it. We're not talking about a group like the Cheerios here, Will. They were on Fox Sports Net last year. When Glee club starts bringing that kind of notoriety to the school again, we can talk about increasing the budget. Until then, though... $60 a month. And you have to use the costumes and props we already have.

[Will gets up to leave, putting his hands over his face in exasperation. Before he can walk out the door, Figgins interrupts.]

 **FIGGINS:** Oh, but not the stools. We need those for wood shop.

[Will rolls his eyes and leaves, the door slamming shut behind him.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT. Will's wife, Terri Schuester, sleeps soundly next to him, turned away from Will. Will, however, is awake, tossing and turning and mumbling to himself.]

 **WILL (voice over):** Hiding $60 a month from my wife was gonna be hard. But I didn't really care about that in comparison to the other problems I had now. How was I going to get these kids motivated? Well, at least we could start with a new name.

[Will sits up in bed, the sudden movement waking Terri up.]

 **WILL:** (excitedly) New Directions!

[At the same time as Will shouts, Terri lets out a frightened yelp.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. A montage of kids walk up to a simple sign-up sheet for auditions for the New Directions, starting with Mercedes Jones.]

 **MERCEDES (voice over):** I've always known that I have a talent. My church choir would say so. So would my mama, my daddy, and my grandpa. And music's been there for me whenever I've needed it. I've always wanted to be a singer, ever since I was little. And I've worked hard at it, too.

[Next in the montage of kids signing their names is Kurt.]

 **KURT (voice over):** I know that this probably doesn't help my case as far as the jocks are concerned, but really? I just want to sing. Musical theater has always been my calling, and what better way to express myself than through music? Plus, at least people might get an inkling that I'm gay before I have to actually come out and admit it... right?

[Next is Tina Cohen-Chang, who is walking alongside Artie Abrams, and she signs her name on the sheet.]

 **TINA (voice over):** M-My name is T-T-Tina Cohen-Chang. A-As you can probably t-tell, I have a st-st-stutter. I w-want to see if breaking out of my c-comfort z-zone will help me get r-r-rid of it. A-And, it'll at least give me s-s-something to do.

[Artie then signs his name, and he and Tina walk away from the corkboard.]

 **ARTIE (voice over):** I'm gonna be honest here, I'm not super jazzed about singing, but at least I'll get to be around Tina more. I've had a crush on her since sixth grade, and if I have to endure some show tunes along the way to finally admitting how I feel, that's a fair exchange.

[Finally, we see Rachel Berry walk to the sign-up sheet, writing down her name before pulling a sticker sheet out of her bag and placing a gold star next to her signature.]

 **RACHEL (voice over):** You might laugh because every time I sign my name, I put a gold star after it. But it's a metaphor, and metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor for me being a star.

[We see Puck walk past, chucking the contents of his slushie into Rachel's face, splattering the wall behind her as well. We then cut to a shot of Rachel walking down the hallway in a hurry.]

 **RACHEL (voice over):** And just so we're clear, I want to clear up that rumor about me being the person to turn that closet case Ryerson in because he gave Hank Saunders a solo that, frankly, I deserved more. That's complete cock-poopie.

[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. Rachel is sitting across from Figgins, fake crying.]

 **RACHEL:** I-I saw them, they were touching, c-caressing each other, it was so wrong!

 **FIGGINS:** Here, have a tissue.

[Rachel takes it and smiles to herself.]

 **RACHEL (voice over):** Oh, but trust me, I'm not homophobic. In fact, my dads are very much in love, and very much gay. I was born out of that love. My dads picked their surrogate based on both beauty and intelligence, and then mixed their sperm together to inseminate her. To this day, none of us are sure which of them is my actual dad, which I happen to think is really amazing.

[Cut to a shot of a young Rachel dancing wildly.]

 **RACHEL (voice over):** My dads spoiled me as far as arts training goes. I've gotten dance lessons and vocal lessons, pretty much everything I need to give me that competitive edge.

[CUT TO: INT. RACHEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT. Rachel is setting up a tripod and a camera.]

 **RACHEL (voice over):** You might think that all of the boys in school would be lining up to get a taste of this, but my YouTube upload schedule keeps me _way_ too busy to date.

[Rachel is shown singing "On My Own" from Les Miserables, and her video has maybe 25 views at most. Cut to Quinn Fabray, Santana, and some other Cheerios watching the video and laughing. Quinn leaves a comment, "If I were your parents, I would sell you back." Santana leaves a comment saying "I'm going to scratch out my eyes." Another comment from another Cheerio reads "Please get sterilized."]

 **RACHEL (voice over):** I try to post a cover at least three times a week, just to keep my talent alive and growing. Nowadays, being anonymous is even worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture now, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that no one is going to just hand it to you.

[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. Rachel has finished singing "On My Own" as her audition song.]

 **WILL:** (clapping) Very nice, Rachel.

 **RACHEL:** Thank you! So when do we start rehearsals?

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. Rachel, Tina, Mercedes, Kurt, and Artie are rehearsing "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" from Guys and Dolls. Will is directing. The choreography is sloppy, they don't harmonize well, and Rachel is trying to overpower Artie during his solo.]

 **WILL:** Alright, alright, stop stop stop.

 **RACHEL:** (walking over to her chair and sulking) We suck.

 **WILL:** Uh, we... i-it'll get there. We just need to keep rehearsing.

 **RACHEL:** Mr. Schuester, do you know how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" to a kid in a wheelchair?

 **ARTIE:** (trying to laugh it off) I think Mr. Schue is using irony to enhance the performance.

 **RACHEL:** (screeching) _There is nothing ironic about show choir!_

[Rachel storms out of the choir room.]

 **WILL:** Rachel... Rachel!

[Will follows her.]

[Cut to: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. The Cheerios are practicing and Sue is yelling at them. Rachel sits on the bleachers, now in her normal school clothes.]

 **SUE:** That's sloppy! What are we, a troupe of toddlers pissing all over the field?! It's disgraceful! I want to see the agony in your eyes, people! Uh-uh, Lance, don't even think about crying! You're the weak link, jelly legs! How's it feel to be the weak link, huh?

[Will enters, walking up the bleachers and sitting down near Rachel.]

 **WILL:** You changed out of your costume.

 **RACHEL:** (sniffling) I'm tired of being laughed at.

 **WILL:** You're the most qualified performer in that group, Rachel. But that comes at a price.

 **RACHEL:** Look, I know I'm only a sophomore, but time passes quick, and I really don't want to leave high school with absolutely nothing to show for it.

 **WILL:** What're you even talking about, you have great grades and you're a fantastic singer.

 **RACHEL:** Everybody hates me!

 **WILL:** You think being in Glee club is gonna change that?

 **RACHEL:** No, but being great at something might. Being a part of something special makes you special, right? I need a male lead who can keep up with me vocally.

 **WILL:** (pauses, taking a moment to process) Well, maybe I can coach Artie a little.

 **RACHEL:** Look, Mr. Schuester, I appreciate what you're trying to do, really, but if you can't help me out here, then I'm sorry. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself. I can't keep wasting my time with Glee. It hurts too much.

[Ken blows his whistle, making both Will and Rachel jump.]

 **KEN:** Schuester! Figgins wants you in his office.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. Figgins is punching away at a calculator, and Will is pacing back and forth in front of Figgins' desk.]

 **WILL:** But we _just_ started rehearsals!

 **FIGGINS:** My hands are tied, Schue. I need the auditorium. Alcoholics Anonymous wants to rent it out for their afternoon meetings. There are a lot of drunks in this town. They're paying me $10 for every seat they fill.

 **WILL:** If we show at regionals, Glee stays. If not, well, the auditorium can become a therapist's office.

 **FIGGINS:** What is it with you and this club? You only have five kids, and one of them is in a wheelchair and can't do most of the dancing!

 **WILL:** Well then, you have nothing to worry about.

 **FIGGINS:** (sighs) Fine.

 **WILL:** Yes!

 **FIGGINS:** But you're running detentions unpaid to make it up to me.

 **WILL:** Deal.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. SHEETS 'N THINGS - DAY. Will enters the shop to see his wife, Terri helping one of the new trainees.]

 **WILL:** Hey, someone's looking beautiful today.

[He leans over the counter and gives her a peck on the lips.]

 **TERRI:** Hi! You're looking pretty handsome yourself.

 **WILL:** Thank you. I just thought I'd bring you a roast beef on pumpernickel -- your favorite.

 **TERRI:** Aw, that's so sweet of you! ...Wait. Does it have mayo?

 **WILL:** (thinks for a second, then dejectedly) Yeah.

 **TERRI:** Will, if my diabetes comes back, then we won't be able to try for a baby.

 **WILL:** I-I'm sorry, I...

 **TERRI:** You know this, what's going on with you?

 **WILL:** I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to have to start working late for the next couple months. I'm monitoring after-school detentions.

 **TERRI:** What?

 **WILL:** I had to make a deal with Figgins so that he wouldn't kill Glee club.

 **TERRI:** Will, it's nice that you're trying to make a difference, but I'm here working four hours a day three times a week, all on my feet. And now I'm going to have to go home and cook dinner for myself?

[The trainee, Howard, comes in with a pair of sheets with an unidentified stain.]

 **HOWARD:** Uh, this lady wants to return the sheets, but uh... she wouldn't tell me what the stain is.

 **TERRI:** (sighs) Do you see what I have to deal with here?

[Terri turns her back to Will and he walks away, dejectedly. Before he can leave the store, however, he notices Sandy Ryerson, the former coach of the Glee club, perusing through one of the aisles. He walks over to Sandy.]

 **SANDY:** William?

 **WILL:** Hey, Sandy.

 **SANDY:** Well, hello! How are things? I heard word that you took over for Glee club.

 **WILL:** Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did. I hope you're not too upset.

 **SANDY:** (starts laughing) Are you kidding? Getting out of that cesspool of despair was the best thing that ever happened to me! I mean, it wasn't easy at first, sure. Being dismissed, not to mention what I was accused of. My girlfriend nearly broke up with me. You know she's still in Cleveland working for that firm? God, it took me weeks to get over that nervous breakdown.

 **WILL:** Oh, that sounds awful. I'm so sorry. D-Did you see someone for it? Are you on any antidepressants? I can recommend you my therapist-

 **SANDY:** Oh no, even better. Medical marijuana. It's genius. I just tell my doc that I'm having trouble sleeping, and he gives me as much as I want. The system's pretty lucrative, if I do say so myself.

 **WILL:** Uh, w-wow. So, you're... a drug dealer, now?

 **SANDY:** Oh yeah. I make _five times_ as much as I did when I was teaching. I keep some for myself, and then make bank with the rest.

 **WILL:** Wait, wait. Who are you selling to exactly?

[Cut to a shot of Sandy giving a small bag of marijuana to Ken Tanaka, and then back to Sandy and Will in Sheets 'N Things, with Sandy now holding up a tiny bag with a printed label of a leaf and the name "The Chronic Lady" across the front.]

 **SANDY:** You want in?

 **WILL:** Oh, uh, no. I-I tried it once in college, but uh, Terri and I are actually trying to conceive right now, y'know?

 **SANDY:** (slips the bag into Will's pocket) I do my own packaging, and the first sample's completely free.

 **WILL:** Sandy, I said no.

 **SANDY:** William, you're coaching those greased up, tone-deaf hormone bombs. Trust me, you're gonna need it.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY. Sue is dusting a trophy case behind her, packed with multiple cheerleading trophies that the Cheerios have won over the past few years. Will knocks on her door and then peaks his head inside.]

 **WILL:** Hey, Sue, can I have a sec?

 **SUE:** Sure, buddy. Come on in.

[CUT TO: EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY. Emma is walking and steps in a large pile of chewing gum. She is noticeably shaken by this and sits down at a nearby bench. Will is seated there.]

 **WILL:** Hey, Emma, do you have a second? (pauses) What is that, gum?

[Cut back to Sue's office.]

 **SUE:** So, you want to talk to my Cheerios about joining your ragtag group of Sondheim fangirls?

 **WILL:** Well, I need more kids. Performers. And the best ones at McKinley are the Cheerios. I figured some of them maybe would want to double up.

 **SUE:** Okay. Well, what you're doing right now is trying to mix the castes. Kids fall into certain slots here, Will. You've got your jocks and popular kids up in the penthouse. The nobodies and the LARPers are on the bottom floor. Do you know what I'm trying to say here?

 **WILL:** Um, okay... and where do the Glee kids lie?

 **SUE:** Sub-basement.

[Cut back to Sidewalk, where Will is trying to scrape the gum off of Emma's shoe.]

 **EMMA:** She's not exactly wrong, but I don't think anything's set in stone. I mean, kids are gonna do what they think is cool, which isn't always tied to their social standing. You just need to find a way to get them out of their boxes.

 **WILL:** And how do you propose I do that?

 **EMMA:** They follow the leader. If you can get a couple of popular kids to sign up, the rest will fall right behind them.

[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. Ken is riding on a golf cart, and Will is jogging next to it.]

 **WILL:** I just want to talk to them.

 **KEN:** I don't know, dude. I can't see any of my guys wanting to join Glee club. Last month, they held a guy down and shaved off his eyebrows because he admitted that he liked watching Riverdale.

 **WILL:** Look, all I'm asking for is an introduction.

 **KEN:** (thinks about it, sighs) Fine. But you've got to put a good word in for me with Emma.

[Cut back to Sidewalk. Will has finished scraping the gum off of the bottom of Emma's shoe.]

 **WILL:** There you go, Cinderella.

 **EMMA:** Thank you. I have trouble with things like that... y'know. Messy things. 

**WILL:** No worries, I totally get it.

[Will gets up to leave, but Emma reflexively grabs his forearm to stop him. He looks at her, confused, but she clears her throat and speaks.]

 **EMMA:** It's really sweet how much you care about Glee, and about the kids.

[Cut back to Sue's Office, where Sue is leaning forward with her elbows on her desk, hands under her chin as she coldly stares Will down.]

 **SUE:** If you really care about these kids, you'll leave them to their business. Children like to know where they stand, so let your Glee kids have their little club of misfits, but don't pretend that they're anything they're not.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. BOYS' LOCKER ROOM - DAY. Ken and Will are standing at the front of the room, with the members of the football team scattered around.]

 **KEN:** Circle up. Mr. Schuester's gonna talk to you. If you don't listen, you do laps. You mouth off, you do laps. Got it? (pauses, as the football team nods halfheartedly) They're all yours, Will.

 **WILL:** Thanks, Ken. Alright, hey, guys! How're you doing? I see some familiar faces from my Spanish classes, but uh... I'm here to talk about something different. Music. Glee club needs new members, specifically guys.

 **PUCK:** I can sing.

 **WILL:** (flabberghasted) W-Wow, that's great!

 **PUCK:** Yeah, you wanna hear?

 **WILL:** Sure!

[Puck walks to the front of the room to the applause of the rest of the football team. Everything goes silent, and Puck lets out a loud fart, before bowing and walking back to his seat. The entire football team applauds even harder.]

 **WILL:** ...Okay. So, I'm gonna leave a sign-up sheet at the door. If anybody wants to sign up, please... thank you.

 **KEN:** Dismissed. Puck, my office, five minutes.

[The various members of the football team start to disperse, and Will looks at Ken, whose eyes are bloodshot.]

 **WILL:** Hey, you doing okay, man? Your eyes are a little bloodshot.

 **KEN:** (defensively) Allergies.

 **WILL:** O-kayyyyy, got it. Thanks a lot.

[Cut to a shot of the sign-up sheet later that day. Three names have been added to the list: Gaylord Weiner, Dick Cheese, and Ass Blaster. Will stares at the sheet, dismayed.]

 **WILL (voice over):** And that was it, it seemed. The end of the fever dream that was the "New Directions."

[Suddenly, Will hears someone singing REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling." He notices Finn Hudson, who's towel-drying his hair as he sings to himself, occasionally playing air drums along with the music.]

 **WILL (voice over):** I suddenly realized why I wanted to do this in the first place. It was about seeing the potential in these kids that they didn't even know they had. It was pure talent. But getting there? Well, let's just say it was possibly the shadiest thing I've ever done.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S OFFICE - DAY. Finn sits across from Will, who is holding a tiny bag of marijuana with The Chronic Lady labelled across it.]

 **WILL:** You wanna tell me how long you've been smoking pot?

 **FINN:** I-I haven't! I don't even know who the "Chronic Lady" is!

 **WILL:** Look, if it were up to me, we wouldn't be doing bi-weekly locker checks in the afternoon.

 **FINN:** B-But I swear, Mr. Schue! I've never seen that before! G-Give me a drug test! I'll pee in a cup! (pauses as Will looks at him with raised eyebrows) I'll pee.

 **WILL:** It wouldn't make any difference. Possession is eight-tenths of the law. I'm pretty sure that much pot is a felony. (looks at bag, then back to Finn) Yeah. Plus, you'd get kicked out of school, and you'd lose your football scholarship.

 **FINN:** Wait, I have a football scholarship? To... to where?

 **WILL:** You could land in prison, Finn.

 **FINN:** Oh my God. Please, don't tell my mom!

 **WILL:** I see a lot of myself in you, Finn. I know what it's like to struggle with making good life choices, and I don't want to see you throw away everything you have to offer to the world. I just expected better things from you.

 **FINN (voice over):** It really got to me when Mr. Schuester said that. Every day of my life, I expect better things from myself, too. See, I might _look_ confident and everything, but I still struggle with the same things other kids do. Like peer pressure. And bacne.

[CUT TO: INT. FINN'S HOUSE - DAY. A young Finn looks at a portrait of his father in his military uniform.]

 **FINN (voice over):** I never knew my dad. He died in Iraq while we were fighting that Osama bin Laden guy.

[Cut to young Finn playing the drums, as Carole Hudson, Finn's mom, tries to talk on the phone nearby.]

 **CAROLE:** (to the phone) Hold on, hold on. (shouting to Finn) Finn, Finn! Finn. Please, I'm on the phone. (back to the phone) Sorry about that. Look, I wanted to ask if I could switch shifts from this week Saturday to next week Saturday. Finn's got a parent's night for the Cub Scouts and I don't want to miss it.

 **FINN (voice over):** My mom and I, we're really close. But being a single parent is hard. The only time I ever saw my mom genuinely happy for longer than a minute or two was when we would save up some money and order Emerald Dreams.

[CUT TO: EXT. FINN'S HOUSE - DAY. An Emerald Dreams employee is spraying the Hudsons' front lawn, and young Finn is helping him. Carole is sitting nearby.]

 **FINN (voice over):** Darren was good to her, and he was really cool about letting me hang around.

[Young Finn and Darren sing along to Journey's "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'."]

 **FINN (voice over):** That was the first memory I have where I listened to music. It set my soul on fire.

 **DARREN:** You've got a voice, buddy! Seriously, if I had that, my band would still be together. Stick with it.

[Cut to a shot of Darren driving by the Hudsons' house, new girlfriend in tow.]

 **FINN (voice over):** Mom took it really hard when Darren left her for some girl he met at Jimmy John's.

[Carole throws a milk jug at Darren's truck, and then kneels in the street, crying. Young Finn rushes to her side.]

 **FINN (voice over):** That was when I decided to do whatever it took to make my mom proud of me. To make her feel like everything she sacrificed raising me was worth it.

[Cut back to Will's office.]

 **WILL:** We have two options here, Finn. I'm running detentions now, so you could do six weeks of after school, but that's gonna remain on your permanent record.

 **FINN:** (hesitantly) What's the other option, Mr. Schue?

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. Finn starts to sing "You're the One that I Want" from Grease. Rachel perks up and starts singing along with him excitedly. After a few bars, Mercedes breaks them up.]

 **MERCEDES:** Oh hell no. I'm not okay with this background singing nonsense. I'm a Beyonce, not a Kelly Rowland.

 **WILL:** Look, Mercedes. It's just one song.

 **KURT:** Yeah, plus it's the first time we've actually sounded halfway decent.

 **MERCEDES:** Okay, sure. Fine. You're okay at this, Hudson. But you better keep bringing it. (pauses, looks to Will) Let's run it again.

 **WILL:** Alright, let's do it! From the top!

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CRAFT ROOM - NIGHT. Will and Terri sit together, putting a jigsaw puzzle together.]

 **WILL:** You usually don't let me into the craft room.

 **TERRI:** Isn't this fun? And challenging! Every Wednesday, we're gonna have a puzzle night. I know how important it is for you to have a creative outlet.

 **WILL:** I already have one. The kids have been working so hard, lately. I've been thinking about taking them on a field trip next Saturday. Carmel High's performing a showcase down in Akron. Carmel's gonna be the team to beat this year at regionals. And... I was wondering if you'd want to come chaperone with me.

[Terri drops the puzzle piece she's holding and then puts her hands on the table, knocking some more pieces of the puzzle to the floor.]

 **TERRI:** (frustrated) I can't, Will. I had to pick up another shift at work. We're living paycheck to paycheck, you know.

 **WILL:** (under his breath, but still audibly) And how much of that paycheck goes to pay for your Hobby Lobby addiction?

 **TERRI:** I don't know what you're talking about.

[Will gets up and starts to walk towards a closet. Terri stands up, panicked.]

 **TERRI:** Don't go in the Christmas closet!

[Will opens the closet, and multiple different craft materials and Christmas decorations are shown, all purchased without his knowledge.]

 **WILL:** I found this while I was looking for my jacket the other day. Terri, you know we can't afford all this stuff.

 **TERRI:** But we could, Will! I'm a shoo-in to be promoted during Christmas week at Sheets 'N Things. I reek of management potential. Plus, I heard that they're hiring at H.W. Menken!

 **WILL:** My passion is teaching, you know that. For the last time, I don't want to be a damn accountant!

 **TERRI:** Dr. Phil said that people can change! You know, it's not a bad thing to want a real life, or a glue gun that actually works! It's really hard for me not to have the things I need!

 **WILL:** Oh, and we "need" three mahogany toilet brush holders?

 **TERRI:** _They're Balinese!_ (pauses, gathers herself) Look, it's not a bad thing to want things. I understand how much you care about these kids, really, I do. It's your way of recapturing your glory days. But we have to face facts here, Will. I'm not the head cheerleader anymore, and you're not the golden boy. High school is over. For both of us. It's time that you move on.

[CUT TO: INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY. Ken is staring at Emma as she's shredding papers, while Emma is looking at Will, who's putting up a sign-up sheet for chaperones. Will leaves, and Emma walks up to the sheet, putting her name down.]

* * *

[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. Puck throws a football at another player's head. He notices Ken, who's yelling at a tense Finn.]

 **KEN:** You're the quarterback, Hudson! I don't want to hear it. You have to make your decision. You're either a football player, or a singer.

[Finn leaves, walking by as Puck stops him.]

 **PUCK:** Hey, what's going on, man?

 **FINN:** Oh, I uh... I just have to miss practice Saturday afternoon. It's uh... my mom. I've got to help her... cook, and uh, do... things.

 **PUCK:** (laughs) Why?

 **FINN:** She just had... a surgery...?

 **PUCK:** Oh, damn. What kind?

 **FINN:** Uh... she had to uh... have her... prostate taken out?

 **PUCK:** (pauses, taking a second to think about it) Man, that sucks.

 **FINN:** Y-Yeah, it's uh. It's engorged.

[Sue Sylvester sneaks up behind the two and yells into her megaphone.]

 **SUE:** You think that's hard? I'm living with hepatitis. _That's_ hard.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY. Will sits at a table, reading a book, when Ken walks up and slaps it out of his hands.]

 **WILL:** What the hell, Ken?

 **KEN:** You stole my quarterback.

 **WILL:** Wh-?! Look, Finn has a great voice, and he wants to express himself. I'm certainly not gonna turn him away.

 **KEN:** You're screwing up my life!

 **WILL:** Okay, Ken. You _hate_ football. What's this really about?

[CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. Emma is disinfecting the door handle of her car, mumbling numbers for each time she swipes the wet wipe. She stops after 6, right as Ken approaches her.]

 **KEN:** Hey, M&M! So, I got tickets to Monster Trucks this weekend. Luge tickets.

 **EMMA:** No thanks, that's not really my thing.

 **KEN:** C'mon! Truckzilla vs. Truckasaurus! And get this, right? The trucks? Breathe. Fire.

 **EMMA:** (pauses, then becomes resolute) Ken, look. You know how every time you ask me out, I tell you that I'm on my period?

 **KEN:** Yeah, and I'm fine with that.

 **EMMA:** Or I'm suffering from cluster headaches, or I'm allergic to nighttime? Those things aren't really true. I'm just not interested in dating you.

 **KEN:** ...Okay. So how do I _make_ you interested in dating me?

 **EMMA:** Alright, fine, you're going to make me say it. Okay. I'm interested in someone else. Alright? Nothing I can do about it, because they're unavailable, so I have to deal with that, but --

[Ken licks his hand and then rubs it on Emma's car door handle, leaving abruptly as Emma starts to panic. Cut back to the Teacher's Lounge.]

 **KEN:** Okay, you know what, you're right. I'm overreacting. The herd'll take care of it for me.

 **WILL:** The... herd?

 **KEN:** Yeah, the student body. The second someone tries to be different, the herd pulls them back in. So. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, thanks for putting in a good word for me with Emma, _buddy_. I guess you just want her for yourself, huh? Adios, amigo.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL - DAY. Rachel and Finn are in the line for snacks. Will and Emma are behind them.]

 **RACHEL:** You're very talented.

 **FINN:** Really?

 **RACHEL:** Yeah. I would know. I'm very talented too. I think the rest of the team expects us to become an item. You, the hot male lead, and me, the stunning young ingenue that everyone roots for.

 **FINN:** Oh, uh... I'm flattered, but. I already have a girlfriend.

 **RACHEL:** Really? Who?

 **FINN:** Quinn Fabray.

 **RACHEL:** Cheerleader Quinn Fabray? The president of the Celibacy Club?

 **FINN:** Yeah. For almost four months now. She's really sweet. I don't even care about getting in her pants, y'know? (pauses) Mmm, I wonder if they have any Sour Patch Kids here.

[Rachel and Finn move forward in line, Finn going ahead of Rachel, who looks dejected at being shot down.]

 **WILL:** Those kielbasas look like they've been in there a while.

 **EMMA:** You wanna split a PB&J?

 **WILL:** That sounds great.

 **EMMA:** Yeah?

 **WILL:** Yeah, let's go.

[Will and Emma sit down after getting the sandwich, apologizing to others in line as they move through it.]

 **WILL:** I haven't had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a really long time.

 **EMMA:** You haven't?

 **WILL:** Yeah. My wife's allergic to peanuts.

 **EMMA:** Well, that's really sweet of you. Not eating something because she can't.

 **WILL:** Oh, uh, thanks.

 **EMMA:** It's really nice. (flinches as students nearby yell) Oh, they're really noisy. But at least it's clean here.

[Emma gives Will half of the sandwich, and Will takes a bite.]

 **WILL:** Oh my God, that's so good.

 **EMMA:** So how long have you and your wife been married?

 **WILL:** Five years since last March.

 **EMMA:** Really?

 **WILL:** Yeah. But we've been together since high school. She was my first girlfriend, actually.

 **EMMA:** Aw, that's sweet. Was it love at first sight?

 **WILL:** For me it was. (pauses, contemplating) I don't know. She used to be so happy.

 **EMMA:** And now?

[The lights in the room start to flicker.]

 **WILL:** Oh. Showtime. You don't want to hear about my marital problems, right?

 **EMMA:** Oh, no, I do, I-I do. I mean, I'd love to listen. You... uh... I mean, I'm not _happy_ that you're having marital problems, but I'm a guidance counselor, so it's kinda easy for me to listen to people when they come to me with problems.

 **WILL:** Okay. Here's the thing. Terri has always been kind of guiding me throughout everything, which I've been grateful for, even when she was riding me super hard about things. I've always thought that it was just her way of trying to get me to be better, y'know? But the problem is, I'm not sure what she wants me to get better at anymore. Making money? Being upwardly mobile? I don't know. I-I love her, I really, _really_ do. We just need to get back on the same page.

 **EMMA:** (takes a moment to process what Will's just told her) ...Do you like the sandwich?

 **WILL:** Oh my God, it's the best I've ever had.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - DAY. Will, Emma, and the New Directions are seated together, about to watch Carmel High's Glee club perform. Will leans over to the others.]

 **WILL:** Hey, guys, so this is supposed to be our competition. Honestly, I don't think they have half the talent we do, but let's be a good audience, alright? Give them some respect, courtesy of McKinley High, yeah?

 **ANNOUNCER:** Please give a warm Buckeye State welcome to last year's regional champions, Vocal Adrenaline!

[Vocal Adrenaline takes the stage, performing Amy Winehouse's "Rehab." It's a stellar performance, and everyone cheers. New Directions is stunned into complete silence, save for Tina.]

 **TINA:** We're d-doomed.

[CUT TO: EXT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL - DAY. Finn walks past a group of Carmel High drummers. He rounds a corner, where Puck and a few of the other members of the football team are standing, paintball guns pointed at Finn.]

 **FINN:** Whoa, whoa, what the hell, guys?

 **PUCK:** Chicks don't have prostates. I looked it up. You broke the rules, Finn, and for that, you must be punished.

 **FINN:** Wait, wait, wait! You guys don't have to do this! S-Seriously, you --

[Finn is cut off by the football team opening fire on him. They keep firing until Puck makes a gesture for them to stop. They then follow Puck as they walk away, leaving Finn splattered head to toe with paint. Finn opens his eyes and wipes some of the dripping paint off of his face, and Kurt walks up behind him.]

 **KURT:** Doesn't feel great, does it?

[Finn jumps a little, not having noticed Kurt walking towards him.]

 **FINN:** You're right. To be fair though, I never wanted to bully you or anybody else. My mom has expectations of who I should be.

 **KURT:** And my dad has expectations of who _I_ should be. We're all dealing with similar stuff, Finn. That doesn't give you or anyone else an excuse to be a jerk. I want you to be better, I do. And hopefully this'll teach you a lesson about it.

[Finn is stunned into silence, and Kurt walks away, leaving Finn to think about what he just said.]

 **FINN:** (mumbling to himself) Dammit, why did it have to be _him..._

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT. Will enters, turning on the light to find Terri waiting for him, holding a bottle of champagne. A banner reading "Congratulations" is hanging in the doorway to the kitchen.]

 **TERRI:** There he is!

 **WILL:** Wow, uh... this is amazing, honey. What are the congratulations for? The kids haven't won anything yet.

 **TERRI:** ...I'm pregnant!

 **WILL:** (pauses, completely stunned) Really?

 **TERRI:** Yeah!

 **WILL:** Terri, don't mess with me like this. Are you... Oh my God! This is amazing! We're gonna be a family! Oh my God! I can't believe it!

[Will picks up Terri and spins her around a little, Terri squealing with delight.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. Will is breaking the news to the New Directions.]

 **ARTIE:** You're leaving? When?

 **WILL:** Well, I've already given my two weeks' notice. I promise that I'm going to find you guys a great replacement before I go, though.

 **MERCEDES:** Is this because Vocal Adrenaline was so good? We can work harder.

 **RACHEL:** This isn't fair, Mr. Schuester! We can't do this without you!

 **FINN:** Wait, so does this mean I don't have to be in the club anymore, or...?

 **WILL:** This isn't about you guys. You guys haven't done anything wrong. This is about me. Being an adult means that you have to make difficult choices. It's not like high school. Sometimes you have to give up the things that you love. One day, you guys will grow up and understand that. And trust me when I say that I've loved being your teacher.

[Cut to another shot in the Auditorium, where Will is packing his things. He finds his guitar and starts to sing John Denver's "Leaving on a Jet Plane."]

[Cut to a montage of vignettes. First, Emma is shown holding a yearbook and drawing a heart around Will's picture. Next, Will is shown in his classroom, working on his application for H.W. Menken. And finally, Emma overhears some of the other teachers in the teacher's lounge talking about Will.]

 **TEACHER:** I heard he's having a baby. That's why he gave Figgins his notice.

[Cut to Will in his classroom, having just finished writing out his application. Emma enters the room, walking up to him.]

 **EMMA:** Hey, need help grading those papers?

 **WILL:** Oh, it's actually an application for H.W. Menken. They're hiring. I heard that people find accountants sexy nowadays. (pauses, realizing that his joke hasn't landed) I'm gonna miss hanging out with you, Emma.

 **EMMA:** Before you leave, can you do me a favor?

 **WILL:** Yeah, sure. What?

 **EMMA:** I made you an appointment tomorrow at the career center. You need some guidance.

 **WILL:** I'm having a kid, Emma. What I need is better benefits.

 **EMMA:** Please, Will. Please just go, for me?

[Will is seen thinking about it.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. Finn shuts his locker and finds Rachel standing there.]

 **FINN:** Jesus Christ, where did you come from?

 **RACHEL:** I didn't see you during Glee club meeting today.

 **FINN:** Wait -- that's still happening?

 **RACHEL:** I've taken over. I'm the interim director, but I expect that the position will become permanent.

[Finn opens up his mouth as if to say something, but is cut off by Quinn and Santana walking towards them.]

 **QUINN:** Hi, Finn. (eyes Rachel) RuPaul.

 **FINN:** Oh, hey, Quinn.

 **QUINN:** What are you doing talking to her?

 **RACHEL:** Science project. We're partners.

 **QUINN:** Christ Crusaders, at 5. My house.

 **FINN:** Sounds great.

[Quinn and Santana exit.]

 **FINN:** Look, I-I really should go. I can't do Glee anymore. It conflicts with... (trails off, trying to think of what to say)

 **RACHEL:** Your reputation? Finn, you're really talented, and you're throwing it away.

 **FINN:** I-I'm gonna be late.

[Finn walks past Rachel, and she shouts back at him.]

 **RACHEL:** You can't keep worrying about what other people think of you, Finn! You're better than that!

[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. The football team is practicing. Finn and Puck are talking.]

 **PUCK:** What do you want me to do? Apologize. That's not me, dude. Look, if I did something like, join the flag team, you'd crucify me. I just don't understand why you did it.

 **FINN:** Schuester told me that joining the club would give me enough extra credit to pass Spanish, okay? I... I didn't have a choice. If I failed another class, I'd be off the team. Look, it's over anyway, okay? I quit. [pauses] Anything else?

 **PUCK:** Nope, that's it. And as a welcome back to the world of normal, we got you a present.

[Puck walks ahead, and Finn follows, hearing a sound.]

 **FINN:** What's that noise?

[Cut to a shot of a Port-A-Potty to reveal Artie trapped inside.]

 **ARTIE:** Help! Help!

[Finn walks up to the group of portable toilets, where Puck and the other football players are standing by.]

 **FINN:** What the hell is this?

 **PUCK:** We've got the wheelchair kid inside. We're gonna flip it.

 **FINN:** What? That's dangerous as hell!

 **PUCK:** Dude, he's already in a wheelchair. We saved you the first roll.

[Finn shakes his head, immediately opening the door and pulling Artie out.]

 **ARTIE:** Oh God, thank you. You're my hero. Oh God, the smell.

[Artie exits, rolling away as fast as he can.]

 **PUCK:** What the hell, dude? I can't believe you're helping out that loser!

 **FINN:** Don't you get it, man? We're all losers, everyone in this school. Hell, everyone in this town. Out of all the kids that graduate, maybe half will go to college, and like two will leave the state to do it. I'm not afraid of being called a "loser" because I can accept that that's what I am. But I am afraid of turning my back on something that actually makes me happy for the first time in my miserable life.

 **PUCK:** So what? You gonna quit to join Homo Explosion?

 **FINN:** No. I'm doing both. 'Cause you can't win without me, and neither can they.

[Finn starts to walk away, jogging to catch up with Artie, and in the distance, he sees Darren watering the football field and singing along to Journey.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. Rachel and the rest of the New Directions are arguing when Finn and Artie enter.]

 **RACHEL:** Look, guys, these steps aren't that hard! I've been doing them since preschool.

 **KURT:** I'm sorry, did I miss the election for the next emperor of Glee club? Because I sure as hell didn't vote for you.

 **RACHEL:** I know what I'm talking about. I won my first dance competition at three months old.

 **KURT:** (notices Finn) This is a closed rehearsal.

 **FINN:** Look, I owe you all an apology. I never should have quit. I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people.

 **RACHEL:** That was you?

 **KURT:** You and your meathead lackeys threw pee balloons at me.

 **FINN:** In my defense, I didn't touch any of the balloons, and I didn't pee in any of them either.

 **KURT:** You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof.

 **FINN:** I wasn't there for that, I didn't even know about that. Jesus Christ. I'm really sorry. That's not who I am, and I'm tired of acting like it is. This is what I want to be doing, with you guys. I used to think that this was like, the lamest thing on Earth, and hell, maybe it is, but... We're all here for the same reason, right? We want to be good at something. Artie, you can play the guitar, right? Think you could recruit the jazz band?

 **ARTIE:** (softly to himself) I do have a charismatic sway on them.

 **FINN:** Alright! Mercedes, we need new costumes, and they have to be cool. Can you handle that?

 **MERCEDES:** Take one damn look at what I'm wearing and ask me that again.

 **FINN:** Rachel, you can do choreography. Tina, what are you good at?

 **TINA:** I-I... uh...

 **FINN:** Hey, don't worry, we'll figure something out!

 **MERCEDES:** That's great and all, but what are you bringing to the table, Timberlake?

 **FINN:** I've got the music.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY. Will and Emma are sitting together at one of the tables.]

 **EMMA:** I want to show you something. I did a little research, and this is a tape I found of the '93 team at nationals. It was in the library.

[Emma puts the tape into the VHS player, and the two of them watch it. Emma points at the screen as a young Will dances with the rest of the Glee club.]

 **EMMA:** Do you know who that is? That's you, Will. And you look the happiest I've ever seen you.

 **WILL:** That's probably because I _was_ the happiest I've ever been.

 **EMMA:** Why?

 **WILL:** Because I loved what I was doing up there. I knew before we were even halfway through the song that we were going to win. Being a part of that, I knew who I was in the world. And the only other time I've felt that way is when Terri told me that I was going to be a father... Emma, I have to provide for my family.

 **EMMA:** But provide what exactly? Money? Is that all you're worth? Or would you rather give your family the understanding that the only life worth living is one you're really passionate about?

[Cut to Will walking down the hallway, when he hears music coming from the auditorium. He enters, watching the New Directions as they rehearse Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." We cut to see that Sue, Quinn, and Santana are watching from the rafters, and that Puck is watching from one of the exits.]

[The song ends, and Will claps.]

 **WILL:** Good job, guys, solid 9 out of 10. But we need a 10. Rachel, work on hitting those ones and fives. Finn, if we workshopped it, I'm pretty sure you could hit a high B.

 **FINN:** Does this mean you're staying?

 **WILL:** It would kill me to see you guys winning nationals without me there.

[The group starts to celebrate, and Will smiles before whistling to get their attention.]

 **WILL:** From the top!

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the pilot episode is already really great. I just added some more character backgrounds to even out the playing field, and some added context for new plotlines I'm going to explore.
> 
> ADDED THINGS:  
> \- More Finn and Kurt interactions, setting up Finn's exploration of his sexuality, as well as fleshing out the relationship between the two characters for the rest of the series.  
> \- More balancing between the characters so that it doesn't seem solely focused on just certain characters.  
> \- More background information for each character.  
> \- A Santana and Brittany scene that establishes their friendship and relationship to one another.


	2. Showmance

[CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. Will pulls into the parking lot, a shot of his license plate shows that it reads "GLEE." He exits and walks toward the school. Rachel approaches and starts to walk alongside him.]

**RACHEL:** Mr. Schuester!

**WILL:** Yeah?

**RACHEL:** I went to the library and I got some sheet music, and I wanted to run some songs by you that feature me as the lead vocalist.

**WILL:** Thanks, Rach, but I've already got something picked out.

[Finn appears at Rachel's side, and Will falls behind. Finn reaches out to wheel Rachel's bag for her.]

**FINN:** Here, let me help with that.

**RACHEL:** (noticeably blushing) Thank you, Finn. You're so chivalrous.

**FINN:** Thanks! (pauses) Wait, that's a good thing, right?

[Finn and Rachel continue along, and Will keeps pace alongside Mercedes, Tina, and Artie.]

**WILL:** Morning, guys!

**MERCEDES:** Morning, Mr. Schue. We were just practicing runs.

**WILL:** Oh really?

**MERCEDES:** Shall we demonstrate?

[Mercedes does a vocal run, which Artie and Tina imitate as closely as they can, and then they repeat it, with Will joining in.]

**WILL:** Does the finger wag help you with that at all, or is it more optional?

**MERCEDES:** You sound fine either way.

**WILL:** Thank you, thank you. Hey, don't be late for rehearsal this afternoon, alright?

**MERCEDES:** Okay.

**WILL:** Great.

[Will separates from the three and continues his walk toward the school. He passes the dumpster, where Puck, Kurt, and a few of the football team members are standing. Puck has his arm around Kurt's shoulders, and Kurt looks visibly uncomfortable.]

**WILL:** Morning, Kurt!

**PUCK:** Buenos nachos, Senior Schue.

[Will starts to pass and Kurt watches with apprehension, clearly confused that Will hasn't noticed his discomfort.]

**PUCK:** Okay, let's go.

[The jocks start to hoist Kurt up, but Kurt stops them.]

**KURT:** Wait, wait.

[Kurt throws his bag at one of the jocks, who holds it, confused.]

**KURT:** One day, you're all gonna work for me.

[The football team then raises him up and tosses him into the dumpster. The jock that caught Kurt's bag sets it down in front of the dumpster as Puck leads the group into the school.]

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. Will is walking with his head down, and then we see Emma rushing down the stairs, checking her watch frantically. The two collide.]

**EMMA:** Oh, Will! Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!

**WILL:** Uh, hey, Emma.

**EMMA:** (lets out a nervous laugh) Hi.

**WILL:** I just wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me the other day. Really. Being here, teaching kids and coaching the Glee club... This is where I'm meant to be.

**EMMA:** Oh, you don't have to thank me! It's my job. I give counsel and guidance. (pauses) I'm a guidance counselor.

**WILL:** (laughs) Yeah, you are.

**EMMA:** (awkward pause, then points at Will's shirt) Oh look! We match! Periwinkle!

**WILL:** Hey, yeah we do!

[Quinn and Santana appear at the top of the stairs and start to descend. Santana rolls her eyes at Will and Emma.]

**SANTANA:** Get a room already.

[Quinn clears her throat and elbows Santana in the ribs, putting on a sarcastically sweet smile.]

**QUINN:** Ms. Sylvester wants to see you in her office, Mr. Schue. She doesn't like to be kept waiting.

**WILL:** Got it.

[Quinn and Santana leave, and Emma gives Will a glance of sympathy before glancing at her watch and then hurrying down the hall. Will laughs nervously.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY. The school bell rings and Will knocks on the door. He doesn't get an answer, and after a second, he opens the door and enters anyway.]

**WILL:** Hey, Sue. You wanted to see me?

**SUE:** (panting) Heya, buddy. Come on in.

[Sue dismounts the elliptical she had been using, dabbing her face with a towel.]

**SUE:** (groans) I just blasted my hams.

**WILL:** ...Oh.

[Sue laughs, then grabs a bottle of pills, taking one and chasing it down with a protein shake. She then offers the bottle to Will.]

**SUE:** Iron tablet?

**WILL:** Uh...?

**SUE:** Keeps your strength up when you're menstruating.

**WILL:** I don't menstruate.

**SUE:** Yeah? Neither do I. [She sets down the bottle.] So, I had a little chat with Principal Figgins and he told me that if your little group doesn't place at regionals, he's cutting the program entirely. (winces sarcastically) That's gotta sting.

**WILL:** Oh don't worry. We're not going anywhere.

**SUE:** Is that so? Because I took a trip down to the local library, where I read _Cheerleading Today_ aloud to some of the local blind geriatrics. They're very invested in the Cheerios. But enough about that, I happened to come across this page-turner.

[Sue reaches underneath her desk and finds a book, displaying the cover.]

**SUE:** _Show Choir Rule Book_. You might've heard of it. And it turns out, it says that you have to have 12 members to qualify for regionals. Last I checked, you only had five and a half. Read it and weep.

[She hands him the book.]

**SUE:** (trying to explain her earlier comment) The half is the kid in the wheelchair. I also took the liberty of highlighting some special ed classrooms for you to visit. Maybe you could find some recruits.

**WILL:** That's really rude -

[Sue hands Will a slip of paper, and then reaches to find a pair of hand weights that she keeps on her desk. She starts doing curls as they continue their conversation.]

**SUE:** Because I'm sure that nobody else is gonna want to proudly sing about being stuck on the island of misfit toys.

**WILL:** Are you threatening me right now?

**SUE:** Threatening you? No. At least not that you can prove. Think of this as me... giving you an out, of sorts.

[Sue sets the weights back down on her desk, and takes a step forward towards Will.]

**SUE:** Let's lay it out. You want to be creatively fulfilled. You want to be in the spotlight again. That taste of fame you had back in high school really did it for you and you haven't gotten off quite the same since. Face it, Schuester. You wish you were me.

[Will stifles a laugh.]

**SUE:** So here's what I propose. You deal with those depressed, sex-crazed infants the same way I dealt with my wealthy, elderly mother. Euthanize 'em. It's about time. And once that's settled, I'd be more than happy to offer you a position as my second assistant on the Cheerios. You'd be fetching Gatorade and laundering tons of sweaty, sweaty uniforms. It'd be very rewarding work for you, I'm sure.

**WILL:** You know what, Sue? I'll pass, but thanks for the offer. Glee club is here to stay. I believe in those kids. I know you're used to being the cock of the walk around here.

**SUE:** Just so you know, that was incredibly offensive.

**WILL:** But it looks like for once, your Cheerios are gonna have some competition being this high school's poster children. We're showing at regionals, and you can quote me on that.

[Will exits, and Sue smiles to herself.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. Quinn and Finn are talking by Finn's locker. Rachel is at her own locker, a couple feet away. She's pretending to adjust her lip gloss in a compact mirror, while trying to listen in on their conversation.]

**QUINN:** We're shoe-ins to be the most popular couple at McKinley over the next two years, you know.

**FINN:** Yeah, I know.

**QUINN:** We're already practically Prom King and Queen, and we're all but nominated for Homecoming court. I'm not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can sing about your feelings.

**FINN:** Look, you're making this more of a big deal than it really is.

[Rachel forgoes trying to hide behind her mirror and instead just focuses on listening.]

**QUINN:** Okay. Let's compromise. If you quit the club, I'll let you get to second base.

**FINN:** Wait. Under the shirt?

**QUINN:** Yes. But the bra stays on.

**FINN:** (pauses for a second, thinking about it) No, no, I can't.

[Quinn scoffs, crossing her arms and trying to use them to show off her chest as a way of tempting him to change his mind.]

**FINN:** I really want to do Glee. I'm happy when I'm performing.

**QUINN:** People think you're _gay_ now, Finn. Do you understand what that makes me? Your big, gay beard.

[Finn is visibly shaken by this.]

**FINN:** L-Look, I really gotta go. Okay? Please, just. Relax. Everything's gonna work out.

[Finn walks away, closing his locker to reveal Rachel looking directly at Quinn. She fumbles for a second, realizing she's been caught eavesdropping, but Quinn has already started stepping towards her.]

**QUINN:** Eavesdrop much? (Rachel tries to open her locker to block Quinn's gaze, and Quinn shuts the door just as quickly.) It's time for some girl talk, man hands. You can dance with him. You can sing with him. But you will _never, ever_ have him.

**RACHEL:** I understand why you feel threatened. Finn and I have clearly developed a deep connection. But I am a woman of honor. I don't need to steal your man. I have plenty of guys waiting for me to call them back. Every day the Glee club's status is going up, while yours is going down. Deal with it.

[Rachel turns to walk away, when Puck and another football player, walking with slushies in hand, throw their contents in her face. Some of the droplets land on Quinn, and she lets out a quiet curse as she leaves. Puck and the jock high five as they keep moving.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. The Glee club are rehearsing to "Le Freak" by Chic. Will critiques them as they perform.]

**WILL:** Keep the energy up, guys! It's disco! More movement with the hands! John Travolta hands. Do you guys know who John Travolta is? Aaaand, we're freaking out! Let's go. And up and out and down. Good, good. Keep it up!

[Rachel kicks out her leg, and it comes close to hitting Mercedes in the face.]

**MERCEDES:** Whoa, watch it! Hell no! First things first, if you try and kick my teeth in again, I will cut you. And second, this song is terrible.

**WILL:** No, no, no, listen! It's not the song. You guys really need to get into it.

**KURT:** No, I'm pretty sure it's the song. It's really gay.

[Finn winces a little.]

**ARTIE:** We need more modern stuff, Mr. Schue.

**WILL:** I'm sorry, guys. We don't have time to change songs. We're gonna perform this on Friday at the pep assembly.

**TINA:** I-In front of e-e-ev-everybody?!

**WILL:** (mistaking Tina's outburst for excitement) Absolutely!

**KURT:** Oh God. They're gonna throw food at us. And I just did a homemade face mask.

**RACHEL:** I'll press charges if that happens.

**WILL:** Guys, I can't stress enough that this assembly is necessary for us.

[Finn looks terrified, and Rachel notices, looking to him with concern. The rest of the club are also visibly upset, but not nearly as shaken as Finn appears to be.]

**WILL:** We need new members. We have six, but we need twelve in order to even qualify for regionals. We have no choice, or the Glee club is over. I know you guys might not like it, or even know it, but this was the song that we won nationals with in 1993. It's a crowd-pleaser, trust me. Now, let's take it from the top.

**FINN:** I'm dead.

[Rachel continues to watch him with concern as the New Directions disperse.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. PROSPECTIVE HOME - DAY. Will and Terri are sitting in the living room of a house they'd like to buy. A realtor stands in front of them with a small-scale model of the house.]

**WILL (voice over):** My dad always told me that I'd become a man as soon as I bought my first house. I'm not really sure what he meant by that, considering that he had the brilliant idea to burn ours down once after getting drunk and fighting with Mom.

**REALTOR:** Welcome to your own little slice of the American dream.

**TERRI:** I have a question about the trees here. Could we replace them and plant some Christmas trees instead? It's always been my dream to cut down my own Christmas tree. How many do you think we could feasibly fit in the backyard? And do they come in different colors? Because, well, you know, we're expecting a family, and I have a real sense that our baby's gonna be a girl!

[Terri continues asking rapid-fire questions, and Will becomes more and more uneasy.]

**WILL (voice over):** Still, I can't believe it's all happening so fast.

[FLASHBACK TO: INT. WILL'S APARTMENT, DINING ROOM - DAY. Will and Terri are seated at the table with Terri's sister Kendra and her husband. Kendra's three sons are running around the table, screaming and occasionally knocking things around.]

**WILL (voice over):** It all started when Terri's sister Kendra brought her kids over for Sunday brunch.

**KENDRA:** (to Terri) I just don't see where you plan to put the nursery.

**TERRI:** I know.

**WILL:** Well, we have a second bedroom.

**KENDRA:** You are _not_ giving up your craft room, Terri. Every mother needs her respite. That craft room is gonna be the only thing keeping you from going insane. (to Will) Postpartum depression runs in our family.

[Kendra's husband gets up and goes into the bathroom, and the kids keep screaming, knocking a plate over. Will yells out in frustration, and then tries to hide his genuine anger by adding a halfhearted laugh at the end. Kendra gets up and adjusts her shirt before continuing.]

**KENDRA:** Anyway, this conversation is over. They're starting construction of a new section in our subdivision.

[Terri gasps.]

**KENDRA:** I'll call you with more details. You are _not_ bringing my little niece or nephew home to this apartment. I'd sooner see pigs fly.

[Will drops his fork onto his plate as the screaming children get louder.]

[CUT BACK TO: INT. PROSPECTIVE HOME - DAY. The realtor leads Terri and Will through the house, talking about each detail. Terri gasps in excitement next to Will as they enter the kitchen.]

**TERRI:** Oh, look at the sun nook! Isn't it beautiful?

**WILL:** I read the fine print, Terri. The grand foyer's an extra $14,000 and the sun nook is $10,000 more than that. We can't afford this.

**TERRI:** We already did the math, Will. All we'd have to do is give up Applebee's and not run the A.C. unit for the first three summers or so. 

**WILL:** Well, we did the math _before_ we found out about the foyer and the sun nook. I mean, if we decide to splurge more than we can handle, we'll lose everything. You have to pick one.

**TERRI:** (chuckles) Come with me. I have to show you something special.

[Cut to a bedroom in the house. Will and Terri stand in the doorway. Everything is decorated for a baby girl.]

**TERRI:** Here's where our daughter or very feminine son will sleep. I thought maybe we could put one of those mini pianos in here and you two rockstars could perform for me.

**WILL:** That's a great thought, but that doesn't make our money issue go away.

**TERRI:** (sighs) Fine. I'll give up the sun nook for the grand foyer. But in exchange, you're gonna let me have the polished door handles.

[Will sighs and looks down at the floor.]

**TERRI:** Think of our family, Will. This is our dream.

**WILL (voice over):** I knew in that moment that I would do whatever it took, even if it meant getting a part-time job to make some extra money to make that dream come true.

**WILL:** (to Terri) Let's sign the papers.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. Mercedes and Kurt are talking to one another, exchanging jabs, while Finn is tying his shoe. Rachel, sat behind him, looks at him with longing eyes.]

**KURT:** You need to call me before you decide to dress yourself for the day.

**MERCEDES:** Whatever.

**KURT:** You look like a Lisa Frank zebra.

**MERCEDES:** You're just a hater.

**KURT:** I look like I'm at least trying to make it work.

**MERCEDES:** Really? Because this looks like you're copying me.

**KURT:** At least I look like I planned to look like this.

**MERCEDES:** You should grow your hair out more. It'd be nice to see the curls.

[Will enters, and Tina and Artie come into view, sitting near one another.]

**WILL:** Alright, guys. How about a little Kanye?

[Will begins to hand out sheet music, and Mercedes, Artie, and Tina all perk up a little.]

**MERCEDES:** For the assembly?

**WILL:** No, we won't be ready in time. We're still doing disco. But, we can make this a part of our repertoire and it'll be a hit at regionals. Communication is the foundation for any successful team. If we're gonna succeed, we need to communicate. You guys said you wanted more modern stuff, and I listened.

**ARTIE:** That's great and all, but we'd really like to _not_ do disco at the assembly.

**WILL:** (ignoring Artie's comment) Finn, you'll take the solo.

[Finn looks terrified, and Rachel tries to make him feel better by smiling at him.]

**FINN:** What? No, I... I can't do the solo, Mr. Schue. I'm still learning how to walk and sing at the same time.

**WILL:** No worries. I'll give you a little tutorial.

**MERCEDES:** Ooh, watch out Hudson, that sounds like a challenge.

**FINN:** Wait. Wait. Are you about to start rapping right now?

**WILL:** Hey Mercedes, you got the beginning, right?

**MERCEDES:** Oh, you _know_ I've got this.

[Mercedes starts to sing the opening lines of Jamie Foxx's part in Kanye West's "Gold Digger." The rest of the Glee club, dancing in place, start to slowly join in, and Will starts rapping. Everyone except Finn looks like they're having a good time, while Finn looks completely stupefied at the fact that Will is rapping, mixed with a look of fear.]

[Cut to a shot of Terri, Kendra, and Kendra's kids in the living room of Will and Terri's prospective home. The New Directions' version of "Gold Digger" continues to play as we watch Terri discussing her interior design plans with her sister.]

[Cut back to the Glee club, getting more and more into it, save for Finn, who still looks and acts mechanically with a distant look on his face. The song ends, and the others laugh.]

**WILL:** Alright. You got that, Finn?

**FINN:** Uh... yeah. I gotta go.

[He doesn't wait for a response, quickly leaving the room.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. WOMEN'S BATHROOM - DAY. Emma steps out of one of the stalls, holding her hands in the air as she approaches the sinks. Someone can be heard gasping and whimpering, and she goes to investigate. She opens one of the other stalls to find Rachel, sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, crying.]

**EMMA:** Rachel? Are you crying in there?

**RACHEL:** Uh, y-yeah.

**EMMA:** Did you throw up in there, too?

**RACHEL:** That was there when I came in.

**EMMA:** They missed the toilet.

**RACHEL:** (starts to cry again) I know.

**EMMA:** Here, c'mon, let's go to my office and talk it out.

[CUT TO: INT. GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY. Emma hands Rachel a pamphlet titled "Depression and You: Coping with your Negative Emotions." Will walks by, and Emma peers out of the doorway to wave to him, before turning her attention back to Rachel.]

**EMMA:** (clears throat) So, how long have you been dealing with depression, Rachel?

**RACHEL:** Oh, I'm not depressed. I cried once when I was 10 years old and did it so hard that I ended up passing out. I woke up drenched in my own sweat and covered in drool and snot.

**EMMA:** Okay.

**RACHEL:** It grossed me out.

**EMMA:** Okay. Well, do you want to tell me why you felt so upset that you needed to cry on the floor of the bathroom, right next to some other girl's puke?

**RACHEL:** I just wish I were prettier, like Quinn Fabray.

**EMMA:** Oh, I see. I might have a pamphlet for dealing with questioning your sexuality...

**RACHEL:** Oh, it's not that either. It's... (sighs) Have you ever liked someone so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room alone and just cry it out to some sad music?

[Cut to a shot of Emma in her car. It's raining outside, and she's crying while singing along to Eric Carmen's "All By Myself." It then cuts back to the Guidance Counselor's office, and Emma clears her throat.]

**EMMA:** Nope. But, uh... a crush on a boy, huh? I know about that. I mean - not right now. It takes me back to - uh, yeah. Long ago. I knew about that. Y-You know what? You need to remember that your emotional wellbeing comes first, Rachel. I don't care who he is, but if he doesn't care about you for who you really are, if he's, like - y'know, hypothetically, he's married with a baby on the way, or whatever - _just a hypothetical_. That's not worth the heartache. You don't want to compromise yourself for someone that doesn't love you. Have you tried telling him about how you feel?

**RACHEL:** (dejectedly) He doesn't even act like I exist.

**EMMA:** I see. Well, here's what I think. Common interests are the key to romance. So find out what he likes, and if you have any common ground. Then maybe he'll see you in a positive way. Or maybe try doing something that you haven't tried before. Maybe you'll learn to enjoy something you'd never even thought about before.

[Rachel nods and smiles hopefully.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. Rachel and Finn sit in front of Figgins' desk, and Sue and Will stand next to Figgins on opposite sides.]

**SUE:** Would you like to tell Principal Figgins and Mr. Schuester what I caught you two doing?

**FINN:** I-It just sort of happened.

**RACHEL:** Frankly, I think you're overreacting, Ms. Sylvester.

**SUE:** You watch your tone, young lady. (to Figgins) Gay parents encourage rebellion, there are studies on this.

**WILL:** Whoa, whoa, whoa, uncalled for. (takes a breath, turns to Rachel) Alright, Rachel. Can you just tell us what happened?

**RACHEL:** Finn was worried about having to perform a solo in front of his intellectually deficient friends. I was immediately concerned by his lack of self-esteem and decided to make a creative preemptive strike.

**FINN:** ...I think that's accurate enough.

[CUT TO: INT. ART ROOM - DAY. Rachel and Finn are sitting at a table, working on a flyer.]

**RACHEL:** You know, one of the most amazing things about being part of the performing arts is you can manifest it into so many different things. Like Justin Timberlake. He's a singer, but he also has a clothing line, he designs shirts and belts and stuff.

**FINN:** Wasn't that the guy that bombed at the Super Bowl a couple years ago?

**RACHEL (voice over):** It was a two-fold plan.

[CUT TO: INT. COPY ROOM - DAY. The two of them are making copies of their flyer.]

**RACHEL (voice over):** We figured that with the right marketing strategy, we could pull from the entire student body without having an assembly, thus creating the diversity this Glee club so desperately needs, nay, that this _school_ so desperately needs.

[Sue steps into the room. Upon seeing Rachel and Finn at the copy machine, she drops her protein shake on the floor.]

[Cut back to the Principal's office.]

**SUE:** That copy machine is for Cheerio use only, paid for by alumni donations. I can't even imagine the damage you would've caused the team if you'd broken it.

**WILL:** Hold on a second, Sue -

**SUE:** I resent being told to hold on to _anything_ , William. I will not be treated as a second-rate citizen because of my gender. There is a very clear bureaucracy involved with photocopying, one that is clearly lost on your students. It is my strong recommendation that both of these traitors be hobbled.

[Rachel's eyes go wide, but Finn just looks confused.]

**WILL:** How many copies did you two make?

**SUE:** Seventeen.

**WILL:** Okay, and how much does each photocopy cost?

**FIGGINS:** Four and a half cents.

**WILL:** How about they just pay for the copies they made?

**FIGGINS:** I like this compromise. You two will pay Ms. Sylvester for the copies you printed, and we'll let you off with a warning. And Sue, I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to personally clean up the congealed protein shake on the floor.

**SUE:** Not my problem. That's why we have janitors.

**FIGGINS:** Sue, we're in a recession. We had to make some choices. I've laid off half of the janitorial staff. All of us need to lend a hand.

[Rachel, Finn, and Will all look at Sue and nod.]

**SUE:** Lady Justice wept today. (holds out her hand) Cough it up.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY.]

**FINN:** I'm really sorry, Mr. Schue.

**RACHEL:** We can have the flyers up by lunch tomorrow if we get back to work.

**WILL:** You know what, guys? I don't want to hear it.

**RACHEL:** Doing that song is gonna kill whatever tiny chance the Glee club even had in the first place. It's a terrible idea.

**WILL:** I have news for you, Rachel. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. We're doing the assembly, and you're not putting up any of those flyers. Everybody loves disco!

[Will leaves.]

**FINN:** It's official. I'm a dead man.

**RACHEL:** Look, I know you're nervous, but you're really, _really_ talented.

**FINN:** (bashfully) You really think so?

**RACHEL:** Yeah. I think that everything's gonna be okay. But if you're still not sure, do you want to practice for the assembly tomorrow after school?

**FINN:** Sorry, I can't. I have a Celibacy Club meeting.

**RACHEL:** O-Oh, okay. See you later, then.

[Finn leaves, and Rachel watches him walk away.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - DAY. Will and Terri are sitting on the couch, with Will's arm around Terri's shoulders.]

**WILL:** I've got some bad news, babe.

**TERRI:** A wealthy relative died?

**WILL:** ...I don't have any wealthy relatives.

**TERRI:** (visibly disappointed) Oh.

**WILL:** I've been looking everywhere whenever I can, all week after Glee rehearsals. I... can't find any extra work. That probably means that we're not gonna get that grand foyer.

**TERRI:** Why can't we be the ones to ever catch a break?

**WILL:** No, no, don't worry about it. We're gonna be okay. We don't need a grand foyer to be happy, right?

**TERRI:** No. You know what? I'm _so tired_ of compromising. I want my grand foyer. I want my dream house. I work hard. I sacrifice. I deserve it.

[Terri untangles herself from the cuddle and stands up in front of Will.]

**TERRI:** You know, we give and give. Do you think that the big-shots at Sheets 'N Things care that I sell more personal massagers than any other assistant manager in the whole state? No. Or do you think that those kids give a damn that we go with so little because you spend all your time choreographing their stupid dance routines? I mean, when will anyone start giving back?

[Terri walks away and into her craft room, slamming the door behind her. Will puts his head in his hands and lets out a groan.]

[CUT TO: INT. COPY ROOM - DAY. Figgins is kneeling on the floor, scraping off what's left of Sue's protein shake spill. Will enters.]

**WILL:** I thought you told Sue to clean up after herself.

**FIGGINS:** I did. She got a doctor's note claiming that her lupus makes it impossible to bend over a bucket of suds. I've been here till 10:00 pm every night, and I'm still not seeing the power of Pine-Sol, baby!

**WILL:** Would you have any problems with me taking over one of those nighttime janitorial slots?

[Figgins sighs and shakes his head, returning to scrubbing away at the stain.]

**WILL:** (sighs) I'll work at half-salary.

[Figgins looks up and smiles.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM 1 - DAY. Quinn and a group of other Cheerios are sitting at a long table at one side of the room. Rachel is sitting by herself opposite them. Quinn strikes a gavel three times.]

**QUINN:** This Celibacy Club meeting is now in session. Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone who's interested join, we're welcoming a new member this week. Please give a warm, celibate welcome to Rachel what's-her-name.

**RACHEL:** (looking around) Where are all the guys?

**QUINN:** Down the hall. For the first thirty minutes, we meet separately, then we come together afterward and share our faith.

[CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM 2 - DAY. A group of football players sit closely together, while other non-football player boys, including Jacob Ben-Israel, are seated more dispersed around the room. Finn sits to himself, throwing a football in the air and catching it.]

**FINN (voice over):** I'm still on the fence about the Celibacy Club. I mean, I'm a hormonal teenage boy, and I can't just ignore the fact that I want to eventually have sex with Quinn. But it's a productive way for us guys to get together and talk about sexual issues.

**PUCK:** (runs hands down face) Dude, Santana bent over in her Cheerio skirt the other day and I swear I saw her ovaries or something.

[Cut to a flashback of Santana twirling around the classroom, her skirt flaring up to show her Spanx.]

**QUINN:** God bless the pervert that invented these. Remember the motto, girls.

**CHEERIOS:** It's about the teasing, not the pleasing.

[The rest of the Cheerios join in and start dancing with Santana. Rachel comes into view, clearly annoyed with their behavior.]

[Cut back to the guys' Celibacy Club meeting.]

**JOCK:** Hey, Finn, how far does Fabray let you get anyway?

**FINN:** We grind, make out. One time I touched her boobs. Over the shirt, though.

**JACOB:** But how do you stop from... y'know... arriving early? Whenever I grind... (shudders)

**FINN:** (laughs) It's not a problem for me, man.

[Finn and Puck high-five.]

**FINN (voice over):** It's actually a _big_ problem. Someone once told me that if you start to get there too early, you should think of sad things, or unsexy things. Like sad puppies, or Donald Trump's toupee. But the only image that works for me happened the first day that my mom took me out to practice for my driver's permit.

[Cut to a flashback of Finn and his mother, Carole, in the car. Finn is driving, and looks to his mom for approval. When he looks back, he sees a mailman right in front of him. The mailman slams onto the hood of the car, and then rolls over the windshield.]

**FINN (voice over):** Yeah, let's just say that it works most of the time.

[CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM 1 - DAY. The boys and girls have joined together and are paired off together, one girl and one boy, with a balloon.]

**QUINN:** Alright, make sure to pair off for the "Immaculate Affection." Remember that if the balloon pops, you're personally responsible for an angel crying.

[Quinn steps closer to Finn, placing the balloon she's holding between their hips. Rachel glances at Finn, and reluctantly takes a step towards Jacob, who is clearly excited and places his hands onto Rachel's shoulders.]

**JACOB:** You enchant me.

**PUCK:** Yeah!

[Puck grinds the balloon between him and Santana, and she looks unamused as she tries to pull away.]

**SANTANA:** Gross, stop it.

**PUCK:** Take it! Ah, yeah!

[The balloon between Finn and Quinn suddenly pops.]

**QUINN:** Finn!

**FINN:** What? It must've snagged on my zipper!

[Rachel steps away from Jacob, moving his hands off of her shoulders, and turns to address the room, but mostly Quinn.]

**RACHEL:** You know what? This is a joke. Most studies show that celibacy and abstinence education doesn't work nearly as well as safe sex education in high schools. Our hormones naturally try to tell us that it's impossible to abstain. The second we start to deny our feelings or urges, the more we act out. The only way to deal with teenage sexuality is to teach them how to be safe and prepared. There's a reason contraception was invented!

**QUINN:** Don't you dare mention the "c" word here.

**RACHEL:** You boys want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know? Girls are just as likely to want sex as any guys are.

[Rachel storms out, leaving most of the boys stunned.]

**JACOB:** Wait, is that true?

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM - NIGHT. Will, dressed in his janitor's uniform, is scraping gum from the bottom of one of the desks. Emma enters.]

**EMMA:** Will?

[Will turns in surprise and bumps his head against the desk.]

**WILL:** Emm- ow! Emma! Hi! What are you doing here so late?

**EMMA:** I help with SAT prep on Tuesday nights. Are you, um... Sorry, I don't want to sound rude but, are you a janitor?

**WILL:** A jan - psh, what? No.

**EMMA:** Really? Because you're dressed like a janitor and your shirt says "Will."

**WILL:** Uh, Terri and I are trying to buy a house, and we're struggling to make ends meet, and... (sighs) God, this is embarrassing. Would you mind keeping this between the two of us?

**EMMA:** Of course. Your secret's completely safe with me.

**WILL:** Thank you.

**EMMA:** Do you want help?

**WILL:** Oh, no, th-thanks, but I'm good.

**EMMA:** Are you sure? Because I can tell from the smell of everything that you probably cleaned the floors with Windex.

[Will looks embarrassed, and shrugs.]

[Flash forward to a later time, as Will is dusting a hanging solar system model and Emma is intensely cleaning a pencil sharpener.]

**EMMA:** I really admire you for working so hard to make your dream a reality, Will.

**WILL:** Thanks. The least I can do now is help you with one of your problems, since you were kind enough to help me with one of mine.

**EMMA:** Oh no, I don't have any problems, don't worry about it.

**WILL:** Really? You've been scrubbing at that same pencil sharpener for the last hour.

**EMMA:** Well, I mean, I... I have a little trouble with messes, but it's not a _problem_ or anything.

[Will sits down at a desk and pats the surface next to him, where Emma bashfully sits down next to him.]

**EMMA:** Okay. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to work on a dairy farm.

**WILL:** Really?

**EMMA:** Yeah. When I turned eight, my family took me and my brother on a tour of one for my birthday. After the tour and the yogurt tasting, uh... my brother pushed me into the runoff lagoon.

**WILL:** Wow, that's...

**EMMA:** And, um, ever since then, I've had trouble forgetting the... the smell. 

**WILL:** Have you thought about seeing a therapist or a counselor about that? I have one I could recommend -

**EMMA:** Oh no no no, I'm okay. I just take a lot of showers and I don't eat dairy anymore, so it's -

**WILL:** Sorry, would you mind if I tried something?

[Will gets up and walks over to the chalkboard, gathering some of the chalk dust onto the tip of his finger.]

**EMMA:** Oh, no. No, I'm not comfortable with that.

**WILL:** Do you trust me?

[Emma doesn't say anything, just nods and closes her eyes. Will touches the tip of Emma's nose with his finger, leaving behind a bit of the chalk dust. After a few moments, Will gets rid of the dust with his forearm.]

**WILL:** There. Sorry about that.

**EMMA:** (laughs awkwardly) Um, it's late, I should get going.

[Emma leaves in a rush, and Will lets out a tense breath. The camera view pans out and you can see Ken looking into the classroom.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY. The members of New Directions are gathered in front of Rachel, who taps a gavel on the desk she's sitting at.]

**RACHEL:** I officially call this meeting of the Glee club in session.

**ARTIE:** But Mr. Schuester isn't here.

**RACHEL:** Oh, he's not coming. I paid off one of the freshman to stay after class and ask about irregular verbs.

**MERCEDES:** Can you just cut to the chase? I'm sick of hearing you squawk, Evita.

**FINN:** Let her speak.

[Finn nods encouragingly at Rachel, who smiles back at him.]

**RACHEL:** Well, I had an idea for the assembly.

**ARTIE:** Oh, I have one too. What if we all made a suicide pact beforehand?

**RACHEL:** No, and the rest of the student body isn't gonna try and kill us either. We're gonna give them what they want.

**KURT:** I'm pretty sure a good half of McKinley would love to see us all in a suicide pact, actually.

**RACHEL:** Okay, we're not gonna kill ourselves, guys! Good Lord, we're gonna give them sex!

**TINA:** L-L-Like prostitutes?

**RACHEL:** _Not literally._

**FINN:** Well then, what did you have in mind?

[Rachel smiles knowingly.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY, the day of the assembly. The entire student body is sitting in the bleachers. Figgins stands on stage at the microphone, and Will sits in a chair to the side.]

**FIGGINS:** Silence, children, silence. First, an announcement. The toilets are broken again. (It's mostly quiet, save for a couple of students groaning in protest.) We are fixing the problem. But I will warn you - soiling school grounds will not be tolerated. We're not going to have a repeat of last time. Now, we have a treat for you all today. Mr. Schuester?

[Figgins gives up the mic, and Will steps forward. There is scattered applause, save for Emma, who is very cheerfully clapping.]

**EMMA:** Yay, Glee kids! Hooray!

**WILL:** Uh, hi, everybody. Um, when I went to school here, Glee club ruled this place. And we're on the rise again, but we need a couple more recruits to join the party. Now, I could stand up here and tell you all about how Glee is the most awesome thing ever, but... I think I'm gonna let some friends of mine show you instead.

[Will sits down next to Emma on the bleachers, and the Glee kids enter the stage. They begin to perform "Push It" by Salt 'n Pepa. The choreography is very suggestive and lewd. Will, Sue, and Quinn are horrified, but Figgins and Emma seem to be enjoying the performance. The song comes to an end, and after a moment of silence, Jacob jumps out of his seat.]

**JACOB:** _YES!_

[The student body erupts into cheers and applause, save for the Cheerios.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. Will and Sue sit in front of Figgins at his desk. Nobody speaks.]

**SUE:** Okay, let me break the silence here. That was the most offensive thing I've ever seen in my 20 years of teaching, and I once watched an elementary school production of _Hair._

**FIGGINS:** We've received multiple angry emails from concerned parents, many of whom were under the impression that there would be a motivational speaker here to talk about overcoming adversity.

**WILL:** I-I'm sorry, I don't know what to say.

**SUE:** Then allow me to help you out. My first thought was to demand that your students be put into the foster system, but then I realized that you were the one that deserved punishment here. I strongly suggest you resign from McKinley High School and disband the Glee club entirely.

**FIGGINS:** Now hold on, Sue. The issue isn't the kids themselves; they're very talented. I haven't seen teenagers this excited since Harry Styles came through Lima and stopped at a gas station with his tour bus. The issue is the content that they're singing about. I took the liberty of calling my pastor and he provided a list of family-friendly songs that reflect our community's values. Your kids can only perform these preapproved songs from now on.

[Figgins hands Will the list.]

**WILL:** All of these songs either have "Jesus" or "balloons" in the title.

**FIGGINS:** There are also songs about the circus in there. Look, there's a bright side to this as well. Will, you need new outfits. I got several flashes of underwear from your group yesterday, and none of them were from the ladies. So, Sue, I've decided that we're going to cut the Cheerio dry-cleaning budget to help pay for new costumes for the Glee club.

**SUE:** This will not stand.

**FIGGINS:** Oh, Sue, lighten up. The dry-cleaners in Ohio are just as good as the ones in Europe.

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. Rachel stands outside the door of Figgins' office, her head resting against the wall. Her expression is tense and dejected. She turns as Sue, making an "I'm watching you" gesture, exits. Will follows behind, and Rachel stops him.]

**RACHEL:** Mr. Schuester, I'm so sorry.

**WILL:** Do you understand what you did today? You lied to me, _and_ you ruined our chances. No parent in their right mind is going to let their kid join Glee club now. Oh, and here's a new list of songs we're allowed to sing.

**RACHEL:** What's a "luftballon?"

**WILL:** Look. I know why you did it. I'm really glad that you care as much about Glee club as I do. I understand. I just wish you went about it differently.

[Will exits, leaving behind a saddened Rachel.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY. Emma sits at a table, eating by herself. She carefully cleans each grape before eating it, and is stopped as she notices two tickets on the table in front of her. She looks up to see Ken.]

**KEN:** They're for Tulip-A-Looza. It's a festival down at the Columbus Convention Center. It's supposed to be a really beautiful sight to see.

**EMMA:** That's really sweet of you, Ken, but, I have asthma.

**KEN:** Emma, look. I'm worried about you. I saw you and Will the other day. Chasing after a married man isn't going to make you happy. I don't know a lot about relationships, but I do know that I care about you and I want you to be treated right. I would do whatever it took to provide for you. In this town, you could probably do a lot worse than me. Just giving you something to think about.

[Ken exits, leaving a bewildered Emma in his wake.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. Finn and Rachel are on stage. Rachel sits at a piano, tapping a higher note within the bass clef.]

**RACHEL:** Try it.

[Finn tries his best to imitate the pitch of the note.]

**RACHEL:** Good! How'd it feel?

**FINN:** That was good.

**RACHEL:** Okay, let's try one note up.

[Finn sings the note above it.]

**RACHEL:** Well done!

**FINN:** Was that okay?

**RACHEL:** Yeah, it's like the holy grail for a baritenor, so it's a good note, and you hit it spot-on. Alright, now let's see how low you can reach -

**FINN:** Do you mind if we take a break? Singing makes me hungry.

**RACHEL:** Sure! Luckily, I kind of prepared for that.

[Rachel gestures to an elaborate picnic setup on the stage.]

**FINN:** Oh. I was wondering what that was about.

**RACHEL:** Shall we sit?

**FINN:** Uh, yeah! Yeah! Absolutely.

[Finn and Rachel sit down.]

**RACHEL:** I was wondering why you asked me to help you with your singing. You did really well at the assembly.

**FINN:** Well, this is my chance to be, y'know, good. Like you.

**RACHEL:** ...You think I'm good?

**FINN:** Well, when I first joined the Glee club, I thought you were kinda weird. You talk a lot, too, and sometimes I would check under my bed to make sure that you weren't hanging out under there trying to get me to belt a high note. But then... I heard you sing. I... I don't really know how to say it, but, you touched a part of me. Right here.

[Finn puts his hand on the right side of his chest with a goofy smile on his face. Rachel looks at him, confused, before realizing what he's trying to do. She reaches and moves his hand over to the left side of his chest, where his heart should be.]

**RACHEL:** Your heart's on the other side.

**FINN:** Oh. That makes more sense. Wow, it's beating really fast. You're... you're really cool, Rachel.

[Rachel blushes and a moment passes before she awkwardly clears her throat.]

**RACHEL:** Do you want something to drink?

**FINN:** Yeah, thanks.

[Rachel reaches for a thermos and pours each of them a drink.]

**RACHEL:** Nonalcoholic Cosmos.

**FINN:** Cool. Uh, what you said at the Celibacy Club meeting was really cool. (accepts the cup from Rachel) Thanks.

**RACHEL:** Well, uh, cheers!

**FINN:** Cheers. (The two of them drink out of their cups, Rachel getting some on her top lip.) Oh, you've got a little Cosmo right...

[Finn reaches out and wipes his thumb across Rachel's upper lip.]

**RACHEL:** Thanks. (A moment passes.) You can kiss me if you want to.

**FINN:** ...I want to.

[The two of them inch closer together, and Finn closes the distance. They kiss, briefly at first, and then once more, more passionately. Finn gets a strange look on his face and we see why when it cuts to the image of the mailman crashing into the windshield of his car. Finn awkwardly breaks free of the kiss and stands up.]

**RACHEL:** What's wrong? Did I do something?

**FINN:** No, no, you uh... You. You were... good. Uh, I gotta go. And uh, please don't tell anybody about this, okay?

[Finn exits, and Rachel sits with her head in her hands.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY. Terri is lying on an examination bed, as the doctor squirts ultrasound gel onto her stomach and begins the ultrasound.]

**TERRI:** I don't want to risk any complications with the baby due to stress or finances, so I want you to run as many tests as you can.

**DOCTOR:** Oh, you won't have to worry about that, Mrs. Schuester.

[The doctor sets down the ultrasound equipment.]

**TERRI:** Are you absolutely sure?

**DOCTOR:** Positive.

**TERRI:** Fantastic! So, am I having a boy or a girl?

**DOCTOR:** I... don't know how to put this. (pauses) There is no baby.

**TERRI:** (frantically) Oh God, did it fall out?!

**DOCTOR:** (laughs) Oh no. You're not pregnant.

**TERRI:** But I've gained ten pounds!

**DOCTOR:** It's possibly from eating. Could be water weight, too. This is what's called a pseudocyesis, more commonly known as a false pregnancy. You want to have a baby so badly that your body starts to convince itself that you're pregnant, and you start having symptoms. If you're meant to get pregnant, it'll happen, but for now, you're not.

[Terri looks astonished.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. Will is sitting on the bench at the piano with a CD player next to him. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany stand in front of him.]

**WILL:** I'll be honest - I'm surprised that you're all trying out.

**QUINN:** Well, I'm sure you've read about it in the school paper. Finn and I are together, and I want to be as supportive of him as I can be. What better way to do that than to be part of something he enjoys?

**WILL:** Okay, great. Then let's see what you've got.

[The Unholy Trinity performs "I Say a Little Prayer" by Dionna Warwick, with Quinn performing lead. The choreography is tight, and the background vocals are beautiful. The three Cheerios finish an excerpt of the song and Will looks at them, impressed.]

[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany are sitting in front of Sue's desk.]

**SUE:** Let me get this straight. You're all joining the Glee club?

**QUINN:** I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester, but something is going on between Finn and that Broadway muppet. You saw how she was undressing him with her eyes. Please don't kick us off the Cheerios.

**SUE:** (snaps fingers) Stop the waterworks. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to see it. You know, Q, when I first laid eyes on you, I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester, though frankly, you don't have my bone structure, or a penis. But it wasn't until this very moment that I understood why I saw myself in you. You three are gonna be my spies. I need eyes on the inside. We're going to bring that ragtag gang of showtune sadsacks down from the inside.

[Brittany and Santana high five behind Quinn's back, and we cut behind Quinn's chair to see the two of them hold one another's hand, Santana giving Brittany's a reassuring squeeze before breaking apart.]

**QUINN:** And I'm going to get my boyfriend back.

**SUE:** That's great, but I don't really care that much about that.

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. Emma is scrubbing the mouthpiece of a water fountain with a toothbrush. Will approaches her, a small packet in hand.]

**WILL:** Hey, Emma. Guess what? I found these new disinfecting bleach wipes. What do you say? Boys' bathroom in the science wing? How does 8:00 sound?

**EMMA:** Will, what are we doing here? You're gonna have a baby, for Pete's sake. And anyway, I can't tonight. I have a date.

**WILL:** (taken aback) Really? That's great. With who?

**EMMA:** I'm going to Tulip-A-Looza, with Ken.

[There's a moment of silence between the two of them, culminating in Emma stepping past Will and walking down the hall.]

[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT. Will enters, still in his janitor uniform. Terri is standing by the dining room table, lighter in hand as she lights a candle on the table.]

**WILL:** Oh, hey sweetie. Wow, you made dinner. I thought you'd be asleep by now.

**TERRI:** Well, I wanted to talk about some things, so I made some chicken pot pie - from scratch, obviously.

[The two of them sit down.]

**WILL:** That's so thoughtful of you. I- Yeah, I've been working so hard lately, sometimes I forget what I'm doing it for. Family's what's really important to me. You and the little guy or gal that's on the way. I hope you know that.

**TERRI:** I do.

**WILL:** But enough about me, I'm sorry. What did you want to talk about?

**TERRI:** So, I went to the baby doctor today, and... (Will looks at her with anticipation, and she looks uncomfortable.) It's a boy.

[Will smiles and gets out of his chair, walking over to Terri and hugging her excitedly.]

**WILL:** Oh my God, Terri, that's amazing!

**TERRI:** (awkwardly, under her breath) It sure is.

[Will continues to gush, celebrating, until Terri cuts him off.]

**TERRI:** Uh, I want you to quit your janitor gig, too.

**WILL:** What?

**TERRI:** Yeah. I've been doing some thinking and, we don't really need a new house. We can turn the craft room into a nursery. It's a compromise that I really want to make.

**WILL:** Really?

**TERRI:** Yeah. The only project I want to work on right now is us and our family.

**WILL:** I love you so much.

[Will kisses Terri.]

* * *

[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. Rachel and Will are standing alone in the choir room. Rachel looks at him despondently.]

**RACHEL:** You're seriously giving Quinn Fabray that solo? That's _my_ solo.

**WILL:** You did this to yourself, Rachel. You were the one who wanted to sell sex at the assembly. Quinn's audition song was on the preapproved list from Figgins, and if I'm being honest, she killed it.

**RACHEL:** You're punishing me.

**WILL:** Contrary to what you believe, not everything has to revolve around you. I had to learn that lesson recently too. I screwed up just as badly as you did. I'm as responsible for what happened at the assembly as you are. I never should have pushed disco so hard. When we did it back in '93, the disco revival was thriving. It was cool. We had fun. And that's what Glee is supposed to be about. If we're gonna succeed, we both need to reevaluate our mindsets. You're not always gonna be the star, Rachel. But I promise that I'm gonna do what I can to make sure that you're having fun. This is a good thing. We're gonna be okay.

[Will gathers his things and walks to the door, Rachel stopping him.]

**RACHEL:** Can I use the auditorium later to practice? Our neighbors are filing a lawsuit.

**WILL:** Sure.

[Will leaves.]

[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. Rachel starts to sing "Take a Bow" by Rihanna. Mercedes and Tina stand behind her, singing backup. The scene intermittently changes to Rachel watching Quinn and Finn laugh together with longing eyes. The song ends and we linger on a shot of Rachel with tears running down her cheeks.]

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, this episode is pretty good as is. I'm merely modernizing what's already there, as well as adding more character depth where I can so as not to disrupt the flow of the script completely.
> 
> ADDITIONS:  
> \- More Finn coming out arc subplot and foreshadowing.  
> \- Quinn coming out foreshadowing.  
> \- Trans woman Sue Sylvester canon.  
> \- Slightly less ableism. Artie didn't deserve this.  
> \- Some cutting of dialogue where it isn't necessary, i.e. the scene with the realtor.  
> \- Tina actually having a stutter because why would she lie about that. What the fuck?  
> \- Someone addressing the fact that Mr. Schuester fucking raps to these teenagers. Finally.  
> \- Completely got rid of the bulimia jokes involving Rachel. That shit don't fly here.  
> \- Foreshadowing about the Faberry love/hate relationship.  
> \- Changed the context of the scene where Will breaks the news of his inability to find more work to Terri. Why were they in the bathtub? I don't understand.  
> \- Added some of my own personal brand of humor. "Humor" being used in the loosest possible definition. I'm sure you'll tell me if I'm not funny.  
> \- Cut the subplot of Ken straight up blackmailing Emma into a relationship with him. Incel energy if I've ever seen it.
> 
> Any questions about the project you have? Send me an ask on my tumblr, @thegleewrite!

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions, please feel free to write to me on my Tumblr @thegleewrite!
> 
> This all came to me as a fever dream. I am not responsible for the consequences of my manic episode which led me to rewriting the entirety of this show.


End file.
